The Liabilities of Lying to Yourself + Sharing Your Truth with the Wrong People
It might sound something like this…
“Ugh! I’m so unhappy, I want to lose weight, I want to change my life, I want to write my book, I want to start my business, I want to leave my job, I want to save my marriage, I want to ask her out, I want to make more money, I want to feel alive, I want to leave, I want to travel more, I want to work less, I just want MORE of something, but…. fill in the blank!
This tends to go one of two ways:
1.) Lying to yourself: You convince yourself that you “don’t” need more, want more, deserve more. You tell yourself that ‘this’ is good enough and that wanting, craving, desiring more is selfish and besides, for reasons beyond your control (you could name 100 of them) “it’s just not possible right now.” Then, letting yourself off the hook, having decided you have no options and that now’s just not the right time, you might start to look at the people who ‘are’ unapologetically making choices, taking risks, creating and manifesting the life, art, career, relationships, money and projects that lights them up… as being kind of obnoxious, self-serving, greedy. Meanwhile, you’re quietly agonizing over the action you didn’t take, the passion you didn’t follow, the life you’re not living, the things you’re not doing to create what you genuinely desire in all areas of your life and your work
The Solution: Get crazy + deeply + boldly + unapologetically TRUTHFUL about what it is you really want. Take the time figure this shit out. Ask yourself, “How do you really want to feel in all areas of your life, your work, your art. Go THERE! Period! Until you can get honest about what you most desire until you’re all in until you stop playing small and asking or ‘less’ than what you really want… you’ll just keep getting more of what you don’t want. Here me on this… “it’s okay to want more.”
At an event I attended, we were asked to circle up and talk about abundance. After sharing my opinion, a woman in the group asked me, “So, what’s so holy about wanting more and what’s wrong with being modest and maybe wanting less?” That was an interesting conversation, to say the least and the essence of it what I told her was this. I didn’t say that wanting ‘more’ of anything was holy nor did I say that everyone should want more. What I ‘was’ saying was… “what’s holy about saying you want less (again, of anything) when what you really desire is ‘more’. I mean let’s get honest… what’s holy about poverty? about no being your most brilliant? about pretending you want less than what you have? Who does that help? Who is served in that scenario? And what is modesty? Poverty? Wanting less? Deprivation? NO. My intention then and now is simple. To help you unearth the truth, your truth, about… what you really want, what’s calling you, what’s relentlessly whispering to you, what’s taking you away in the middle of the day with sweet daydreams of things you’re wanting to create, make happen, obtain, manifest. That my darling, “your truth” is a big fucking deal. Listen to it.
1.) Sharing your truth with the wrong people: You’re ready. It’s time. You’re scared shitless but the agony of “not” taking action is finally more unbearable than the combined fear + thrill of saying YES to the idea, the dream, the project that you’ve been longing to give birth to. You’re bursting at the seams and you want people to know what you’re up to, that you’re busting out, that you’re about to make some big things happen. Then, you start talking about it, posting it, sharing it, tweeting it and bam! The chatter
starts, the naysayers chime in, friends, family, followers, colleagues share they’re well intentions concerns + horror stories of when ‘they’ tried what you’re about to and so it goes. You take the bait and down you go. In many cases, you feel a strange sense of relief because they’re just confirming what your ego most wanted you to believe. That you’re not ready, that you don’t have this, that it was a stupid idea, to begin with, and the next thing you know, you are stopped in your tracks, your action ceases, your momentum halts and your enthusiasm is squelched. Self-doubt creeps back in, ‘their fear’ trumps your YES and you decide their uncertainty in your ability is perfectly reasonable. The result? You don’t jump. You stay exactly where you are. You settle.
The Solution: Be uncompromisingly mindful of who let in. I’m not kidding. As Danielle LaPorte says… “Wide Open Heart. Big Fucking Fence.” I couldn’t agree more! Your hearts desires, your big “wowie-est’ dreams, your crazy ideas, your brilliant plans (regardless of the ones YOU choose to give birth to) are undeniably sacred. KNOW THAT! Also, know this…